my new tattoo...

yes you really should just get over the shock now ok.

i got my 1st tattoo when i was not yet LDS and i was i believe 18. i loved it and knew i would oneday get more. a couple years ago during one of our down times in married life,i decided i wanted to get something to show my husband how important he is to me...my 2nd tattoo was born. the past year or so i have thought a lot about getting yet another which i originally thought would be simple...oops. i started reserching my kids birth month flowers knowing that would have great symbolism and i would be proud to put on MY body. so i came up with having mine and my kids flowers with a butterfly for each of us as well. i LOVE my kids and they mean the world to me so having this done was important.

at first my husband was mad at me because he thought i had spent way too much money on it just going by size but...he forgot my mom had given me $$$ for my birthday just for my new ink and yes,i saved it to use. my new tattoo is so much more than i could have ever hoped for and my hubby likes it too.

i know it is not exactly LDS approved and im sure there will be people who will gasp and think i am just terrible...so be it. if i am to be judged i am really just fine with that so thank you...

talking to myself...

i guess i really am not meant to have friends and you know what...i am SO fine with that.
i am who i am and after 34 years of trying to be the best friend i can possibly be i am done trying to be a friend and still feeling left out.
i am not writing this for sympathy trust me,it simply makes me feel good to write it.
nobody reads this stupid blog anyway...it is just my personal rant and thats the way i like it.
shock-o-rama...i really do have feelings and a heart and am a pretty decent person but i will not be fake or act a way i do not feel is me so...
i am lucky enough to be blessed with an amzing husband who the longer we are together it just gets better. he loves me for me and our 2 kids are the best in the world.
it took over 30 years but i have truly found an amazing friend who i consider my sister in every sense of the word. i love her with all my heart and we both know we were sent to each other for a purpose.
I AM BLESSED...even if i dont deserve it.

my mom again...

i guess this is kinda like my private journal since i have noticed nobody reads my blog which i dont really care about but felt like saying anyway...
my mom is scheduled to have a hip replacement surgery tomorrow as long as her white cell count is okay as it has been high i guess which they told her could be due to stress...DUH!!!
i have one of my home teachers from church coming over along with bishop clifford to give her a blessing later tonite. really hoping that will help put us all at ease.
have ask complete strangers to keep her in thoughts & prayers as i have no friends or at least nobody has time to be my friend...but thats another blog story so...adios.

6 months...

yesterday i woke up in a real funk and couldnt figure it out.
my husband even ask me what was wrong and i couldnt answer him.
today as i realized the date it smaked me in the face like i had run into a brick wall.
my dad passed away 6 months ago today...wow...cant believe that at all.
so needless to say i am beyond thankful for my amazing husband who cares so much about me.
I AM ONE LUCKY LADY!!! woo hoo for me!!!

my mom...

alright...dont get me wrong,i love my mom with all my heart but at times she makes it VERY difficult. im pretty sure many of you get this and will understand where i am coming from.
first off...let me fill you in on my story.
my mom has now lived with us for 9 years,we have been married for 13 1/2 years.
when we first moved to utah and people found out my mom was living with us,they would say "oh how nice that must be...you have a live in babysitter"...um no we don't.
now that she has been with us for so long and people know she does not pay anything to live in our house they say "oh that must be hard,i cant imagine my mom living with me that long"...do you think???
never in a million years would we have said sure come stay with us if we would have had a clue it would be forever!!! our house is a little over 1700 square feet and we NEVER get to watch t.v. in our t.v. room because when she is home that is where she camps out.
i feel like i have to ask permission to do anything in my own home and whats worse is we have to be quiet friday thru sunday because she works nites at Primary Childrens Hospital and has to sleep during the day...IT SUCKS BIG TIME!!!
ok,you may be thinking wow brandy is sure selfish...no i am honest.
you dont have to tiptoe around your own house not being able to do whatever you want whenever you want,you dont have to make sure you include your mom in everyday activities so you dont have to listen to it later or get her panties all twisted...im sorry but it really is a nitemare and i dont wish it on anyone.
i am 33 years old with a family of my own and we want no we need to be alone so we can do our own thing with no outside comments that really annoy the living crap out of me.
ahh...that felt fabulous!!! i am good now ;>)

i am not a blogger...

so then you might ask,what am I doing here??? good question :>)
the honest answer is...i am curious about what others are up to.
I do not have much of a life outside of working full time(crazy hours) and being a wife to my husband who works even crazier hours and a mom to my 2 amazing kids. When I am home,I have no motivation for much else.
it is not likely that I will post on a regular basis...when I think of it is more likely.
anyway,thanx in advance for any who may stop by...sorry for the boring read.
XOXOXO

this has by all means been the hardest most emotional 2 weeks of my life.
receiving a phone call from a stranger that your dad has had a heart attack and is on life support is not ever what any of us ever expect to hear. I never had much of a relationship growing up with my dad but long story short,this has been an experiance I hope to never repeat.
this is not exactly a great opening blog post but it happens to be what consumes my every thought currently.
thanx for stopping by...hopefully I didn't scare you away.